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Ever wonder about life and what everything means in the universe?  Meet Hawaiian Ryan, Mid-day DJ for 104.3 FM Xtreme Radio (Monday thru Friday, 10am to 3pm). A self proclaimed bookworm, wiseass, and nonconformist, Hawaiian Ryan has formulated his own theories on life, love, and just about everything else.  Read on below for some of these Hawaiian Ryan-isms.

Hawaii411: So you won Brown Bags? Tell us about that!
Hawaiian Ryan: I won brown bags in High School and took second place in states...
Hawaii411: Original comedy routine?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah....thatís where I met Lanai Boy, and Jimmy the Geek and then I joined the radio station and Three Local Boys... it was cool.

Hawaii411: Are you actually Hawaiian?
Hawaiian Ryan: Ohhh, you guys not even playing nice... Yes and No...k, let me put it this way, I'm American 'cause I'm from America, you feeling me?

Hawaii411: So what would you call yourself if your first name was say, Milipino?
Hawaiian Ryan: Bangladesh Milipino...

Hawaii411: What do you consider yourself, a DJ or a comedian first?
Hawaiian Ryan: I think I'm just a wise ass. So I guess that would be like a hybrid version of the 2. I'm a wanna-be comedian, always so in and out, not polished... It's the same idea as like my relationships where I can never stick with one routine. I always get rid of it, you know what I mean? But, I've always been a wise ass, so that helped.

Hawaii411: You could have your own wise-ass column, like 'Wise-Ass Speaks'.
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, exactly.  But there's always that fine line between what you want to do, and where discipline comes in...

Hawaii411: I actually vaguely remember you from small kid time... You used to be pretty good in basketball, right?
Hawaiian Ryan: Ummm, that depends on what epoch you're talking about... I was always just trying to show off, you know it kind of takes away from the focus of the game. See, that's the entertainer in me - it could never quite step aside for the athlete.
Hawaii411: - Check out my reverse!
Hawaiian Ryan:  Know what I'm saying? I became irrelevant to the game, because it was all about me. It wasn't a matter of scoring the points, it was like fancy dribbling (laughs) whatever.

Hawaii411: So did you play sports in high school?
Hawaiian Ryan: I played baseball... I played basketball and football, but that was JV.. Varsity I only played baseball. The night of brown bags I pitched in the states against Iolani and Paul Ah Yat.


Hawaiian Ryan: What kinda sushi is this one (looks at the sushi boats floating by).?
Hawaii411: I think that's either the local boy special or da bomb... it's spicy hot.
Hawaiian Ryan: Oh, Da Bomb, how ironic.

Hawaii411: At Kaiser High School were you getting into trouble all the time?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes, yes. I've never bought the whole 'Life is Good' thing. Like in that movie, Castaway, I was like dude, four years on that island and you're thankful the porta potty came up? I would have killed myself way earlier than that! I'm supposed to be thankful for the porta potty? I would've been pissed that I got stuck there in the first place. I was always just like, Nah, I'm not into it. But when you're in High School you wear black and you're all depressed about it. Now that I'm older it's funny to me. I like George Carlin in that way. If you read the introduction to George Carlin's book 'Brain Droppings' that's kinda like a small kine sample of my philosophy.

Is George Carlin one of your comedic inspirations?
Hawaiian Ryan: George Carlin, Woody Allen, Steve Martin - All the old school boys I grew up with. Richard Pryor... I like Seinfeld, even some of the chicks like Paula Poundstone, Ellen the Lesbian chick... In the eighties, they were hardcore.

Hawaii411: You're working for Xtreme 104.3 now... How long have you been there?
Hawaiian Ryan: Been there since March 2001. Before that, KPOI, KQMQ..

Hawaii411: What kind of music do you like?
Hawaiian Ryan: I like all kinds of music. Being a DJ, it's almost irrelevant what kind of music you like, because there's so much more to the job than that. But I like rock, alternative jazz, whatever.. The underground stuff that never makes it to radio.

Hawaii411: Would you ever consider working for a lite rock station, or does that not fit you at all?
Hawaiian Ryan: Oh, I'm a total sellout dude, Money... Money talks. I don't care, I just get paid, you know what I mean? I would belly dance, be a whore, sell drugs, whatever (laughs). Whatever works, as long as I don't get caught, yah? I'm game.

Hawaii411: So is Xtreme one of the better matches for you, because it gives you so much freedom?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, plus there are more gigs in the Hip Hop and R&B genre, the club gangs.. There's a lot more going on in Hawaii especially. If I was in the mainland I'd probably want to be part of the Alternate Rock Station, it depends. But to answer the question, yah, it's pretty free, they let me do whatever I want, it's really cool. It's my favorite place to work at so far.

Hawaii411: When you take gigs and do your MC jobs, are those private parties?
Hawaiian Ryan: Anything, whatever pays the bills.

Hawaii411: Is there anyone you look up to in the DJ/comedian world?
Hawaiian Ryan: This goes back to the DJ/comedian question. I don't ever think that I wanted to be a DJ. I just wanted to be in entertainment, either writing or acting or comedy. I used to be in a band, write songs... anything, just anything artistic. And DJ's something that's basically the closest thing to doing nothing. really, at the heart of all men lies laziness. And the only reason for technology is for like, total chronic laziness. Basically doing more for less. Being a DJ is the ultimate Buddhist experience.  Buddhist/Capitalism. You're in the commercial world selling stuff, you sit down, it's very unhealthy, very lethargic.. It's great. It's the closest I'll get to Nirvana without shaving my head and forfeiting sex. It's a pursuit to do other things, and that's my philosophy in money - I want to get money so I don't need to get money. Being a DJ is the thing where you don't do anything, and so I can really just write or read.  I just came here from Borders. I love to read, write, create.  Nah, actually Iím exaggerating, being a DJ does require a lot of practice and skill, and if you are a good DJ, there are a lot of ways to work hard and get your face out in the community, and technically that can be a lot of work, but you know, I guess my point is that it really is choke fun, so it doesnít seem like work.

Hawaii411: What do you read?
Hawaiian Ryan: Anything, Everything. Everything is all related, and I like to find the patterns: Science, Finance, Philosophy. That's where I get a lot of my material too.  Analogies...

Hawaii411: In a sense you became a student of your trade.
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, I mean when you're younger it starts off as you want attention, and i was just born more outgoing and psychotic then the average person. when you get older you just become a student of everything and you express it through all different forms, whatever it is: Comedy, writing... My Dad is like a total math major and my mom is like the other side of the realm - public speaking, all that stuff... So there's total confusion in my brain.

Hawaii411: Were your parents pretty supportive of your career?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, actually... I had the typical Asian dad... He wanted me to play UH Baseball and become a lawyer, or a doctor, or a dentist (no offense!) but he realized pretty early on that it was never going to happen so... He was pretty good, he let go...

Hawaii411: Did you go to UH?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah. I didn't really know what I wanted to do until I had 2 years left.. I was doing the liberals like everyone else and then I decided to major in English Lit, because I wanted to be a writer.

Hawaii411: If you couldn't be an entertainer, what would you do? Say the industry just drops, and it's Perry and Price and that's it...
Hawaiian Ryan: Uh, thats pretty much the way it is right now.  That's an accurate depiction actually.  They're really the only ones making really big bucks being radio DJ's in Hawaii. They by far make the most... not only from their salary, but from everything else too. 

Hawaiian Ryan: What would I do? I have never been able to answer that question... I still would want to try to do nothing, so maybe I'd try to study investments - the whole passive income philosophy. The whole mentality of 'What would you do' - even that is so confining. You know, as far as what ďjobĒ do you want to have.  Iím learning to think even out side that box.  You know, to think about other ways to make money, like investing, real estate, blah, blah, blah. Yes, I just read ďRich Dad, Poor DadĒ so what? But really, I don't want to do anything, so I think I'd try to find ways to do something else... Maybe create a website for local celebrities - oh, sorry!

Hawaiian Ryan: One of the few things I've learned in my life is to not be ambitious. One of the things that cause so much pain and suffering in most peoples lives is the American Dream and ambition. And I think I'm wiser. I've decided to get rid of ambition altogether, and therefore I can never fail. If you have no goals, then there is no difference between the goals and you not meeting them. It's really the spatial relationship between point B and point A... You're creating your own depravity really.

Hawaii411: But if you become successful, then you've failed...
Hawaiian Ryan: If you become successful by accident then its only bonus points. See, in my system there are no negatives. It's all from zero on. It's all positive.  Actually even zero is positive in my world. When I don't meet my goals, I never had any so it doesn't matter. Again, Nirvana.. But if accidentally someone picks up my idea or TV show, cool, I'll take it, whatever.

Hawaii411: How is that TV show going (@ on Oceanic)?
Hawaiian Ryan: That show is on hiatus, but I've got other ideas. Basically the TV industry is like 4 people, and I've been working with them for the past 13 years. I have a lot of ideas for TV shows that I might come out with this summer. Luckily Hawaii is very small and friendly and as long as you remain somewhat sociable, you should be able to keep a job at some level somewhere.

Hawaii411: So is Tiny like the Mafia Don of Oceanic Cable?
Hawaiian Ryan: He is, he is.  But you know, shorter.  (laughs)

Hawaii411: There are people who criticize Xtreme and say ' You're Tainting our kid's minds'.  How do you respond to that?
Hawaiian Ryan: This gets into a huge territory, like parental values, and bottom line is certain programs should be on at a certain time. When I used to do the morning show we used to keep the racier material until after 8:00 because of school. But generally to be honest my answer is if the kids are that young, they shouldn't be listening.. Parents gotta help out there. Realistically dude, it's on the radio, kids are listening, it's everywhere. My personal opinion is that it's a business. You know how it works.. People pay to get their products on. And the songs... you listen to the songs and they're all crazy now. It's just so overwhelming, I don't know how much more you could do that would be effective. I mean every song is like Bitches and Ho's. This is what thirteen year olds are listening to. What do you want me to do, change the entire genre of Hip Hop and R&B? ' I've Got Ho's' is a song. That is a song. In different area codes, I mean, not only the fact that he has a Ho, but he's gone the extra dimension of naming the actual area codes in which they dwell. Next thing there'll be addresses, PO Boxes. I mean, I know it sounds like a cop out, but society has gone down a couple of notches. And we play music. We play the music which represents our culture. I suppose if we wanted to be really responsible we would just not play hip hop and R&B.

Hawaii411: The same was said about rock and roll in the sixties, when Elvis sang about his Bitches and Ho's...
Hawaiian Ryan: Realistically, you are not going to stop the kids from hearing about it and talking about it. So instead of trying to suppress them for it, sit down as a responsible parent and talk to them about it. It's out there. If we stop playing it, someone else is going to play it.. They'll hear it from MTV. They got Napster now. I'm just being honest. Its a joint effort.

Hawaii411: Do you think maybe down the line when you settle down with a wife and kids maybe you may have a different view?
Hawaiian Ryan: Wife and Kids? No thanks. Bitches and Ho's, yah. See that's my problem, I believe in Bitches and Ho's, so I'm a very bad person to ask about children.... That's why I'll never run for office. I'll sit down and talk with kids, but I'm not really into trying to sculpt them. I think every individual needs to make up his/her own mind... I mean you shouldn't be exposing certain topics to four or five years olds, because what are they going to make of it, right? At a certain age, everything is up for game. I don't believe in censorship. Talk about it, and the kid's going to do what he's going to do. Most of the time, you either get brainwashing, or total rebellion. Both roads I despise. Kids grow up, try to be like their parents...Hate that.. and the people who rebel become very psycho and angry.

Hawaiian Ryan: Maybe that's why people never listen to me. They always pull the 'You don't have kids, you'll never..' trick on me. I don't plan on having kids. I don't want to subject them to what I had to go through.. Life. (Laughs) I don't want to force them to pay car insurance, go through traffic camera scams, rent... Property Tax. Temporary Disability insurance is like 'What? Why do I have to pay that?' But there it is on every check. I don't want to subject someone to that. Fitness....

Hawaii411: What do you do in your spare time?
Hawaiian Ryan: I'm always checking my paradigm... My world view. Because that affects everything. That's my hobby.

Hawaii411: Who are some of the celebrities that you've met, that stand out? Like us, we get to say 'We got to meet Hawaiian Ryan!'
Hawaiian Ryan: On the phone, I get to meet a lot. I got to interview Snoop Dog, Puff Daddy. A lot of the Hip Hop/R&B stars. Eminem, Dr. Dre, Christina Agulierra. We basically get to meet all the guys who come down for the concerts.

Hawaii411: So do you guys get Freebies?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes, yes, that is part of the fun. You know what sucks is they never tell you about this during high school career guidance.. I mean what is shop? You got shop, you got all this other stuff.. No thank you.. No one tells you about this world. My whole life all my teacher said is 'What are you going to do for a living, sit around and be a wise ass, and get paid? How're you going to find a girl?' That's all it is - it's just chicks, cash and doing nothing. They try to keep it from you, because our educational system needs to fill a quota. They need to fill a certain amount of people, professionals... They don't need people to go for the good stuff. We need to lower their hopes, and make sure we have enough people working construction and whatever else... Not that working construction is low - it's just that itís hard work, that's all.
Hawaiian Ryan: My Uncle, he works construction... He's a genius. He can build a whole house by himself. It's an incredible trade.. but he works hard. That's the only thing I fault him for. What are you working so hard for?  I mean even if you love your job, I guess the point is to be financially free, so that you can do your job if you want to, but if you feel like taking off for a year, whatevahs.

Hawaii411: What are some of your career highlights?
Hawaiian Ryan: I did standup for Vanilla Ice. I opened the Vanilla Ice concert. And they yelled "Vanilla, Vanilla, Vanilla... " three minutes into my set. It was a highlight not in the sense it was good, but it stood out like a highlighter. Which reminds me 'Never do comedy for a bunch of screaming horny twelve year old girls who are wearing Vanilla Ice shirts'. That was a big mistake...

Hawaii411: It's ok if they're wearing Hawaiian Ryan shirts?
Hawaiian Ryan: You know what I'm saying? 

Hawaii411: Does the stability of the Radio DJ scene worry you?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes and No. It's definitely not a stable job, that's one negative about this job. This is my fourth radio station. So, kind of, but not really... There are so many other ways, I'm not really worried about it. There's other ways to do nothing. And there's always the illegal stuff. Black market Pokeman Cards, whatever.

Hawaii411: I mentioned some of the negative perceptions people have against Xtreme. What are some of the positives?
Hawaiian Ryan: We get involved with the community, with all kinds of charity work. When 911 came we did this teenage expo thing to help. We're always getting involved in some way, some fashion. We've created a product that has the attention of a lot of people, especially young people, and when it is time to be used to help them out, we're very community oriented. We get heavily involved.

Hawaii411: What do you say to the aspiring radio DJ - Someone who goes, "I wanna do what you do!"?
Hawaiian Ryan: Don't plan on it, cause it's all luck. There is no trick. You just gotta hope you sleep with the right person, or bribe the right person... Nah, don't get a degree in communications, it doesn't matter... Columbia School of Broadcasting - that sucks. Just start interning and hanging around. You'll meet the right person who'll teach you a lot of stuff - that's it. Hang around and work hard - People drop like flies in the radio business and you'll be in. 

Hawaii411: Hawaii turns out a lot of the island music. Have you heard anyone with some real R&B talent?
Hawaiian Ryan: Oh yeah, there's a huge revolution starting right about now. We just started this new show called Xtreme Beats on Sundays, 11pm. It's a brand new thing to catalyze the local hip-hop R&B scene. Guys like Reign, Disguyz, Chant... a whole bunch of artists coming out. It's good, we need the exposure. Hawaii is just sooo, Hawaiian. It'll take a while, but there are so many talented people. Pati, Fiji ... They are all closet Hip-Hop and R&B dudes. It's just that Hawaiian music pays the bills.

Hawaii411: You mentioned that Lanai and Jimmy the Geek helped you into radio. Is there anyone else that helped you out?
Hawaiian Ryan: Sam the Man helped me out the second time around, and we're still good friends. He was a huge influence. And the guy who helped me really get started was Tremaine Tamayose.  He encouraged me to do stand up, He introduced me to Andy Bumatai and Frank DeLima - All the boys when I was 17.

Hawaii411: It was a great loss when he left us.
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah.

Hawaii411: What is the story behind the name, Hawaiian Ryan? Is it just a rhyming thing?
Hawaiian Ryan: Come on, you think I'm that simple minded? Ummm, yah pretty much... (Laughs) and the name Milli Vanilli was already taken. Total marketing, it was catchy, easy to remember. When I first came out in 1990 Sovereignty was pretty heavy, so I just was riding on the coattails of Sovereignty just trying to fit in. Too be Hawaiian gained you more points, let's be honest. Everywhere I go people treat me like I'm indigenous to the Aina. Malama ka'aina Lokahi Imua.

Hawaii411: Ever thought of getting back into music?
Hawaiian Ryan: Sure.

Hawaii411: What instruments do you play?
Hawaiian Ryan: I play pretty much every instrument... Oh, but actually know how to? That's a different story. Guitar, small kine drums.

Hawaii411: Do you sing?
Hawaiian Ryan: I was a singer, but oddly enough the band opted to not give me a microphone. I'm more like a writer, creative director. Singing - not really.

Hawaii411: Does Kaiser High ever try to bring you back, like a celebrity graduate?
Hawaiian Ryan: I think they're really confused about how to feel about me, kinda like my parents. Sometimes they're proud, other times they disassociate themselves completely from me.

Hawaii411: What is your ideal world like?
Hawaiian Ryan: There are so many versions... There could be one where there is just me and a billion Gwen Stefani's. Then there is non-existence. Non-existence would be the ideal world.

Hawaii411: Is that like Zen?
Hawaiian Ryan: No, Zen is like, it sounds like non-existence, but it's really existence within non-existence. But it's existence. They try to exist in non-existence. Shave your head, wear orange robes... They stay in a temple all day and never change clothes, and then they have that additional rule about not having sex. Who wants to get laid by them anyway? Orange robe wearing, bald, no change clothes, no car drivin' guys. Someone may have that fetish. Everyone thinks    that my philosophy is Buddhist, but it's really kind of the opposite. I think everyone just takes everything too seriously. We are all a bunch of ants just cruising, whatever... The mistake of the human race is that we keep making more of us. That's the problem.

Hawaii411: Overpopulation?
Hawaiian Ryan: Just population. What is the point of creating a little person then trying to protect it from the world? That's your whole job as a parent, right? Teach it how to get along in the world. Why don't you just not bring it here in the first place? 

Hawaii411: Did you ask your parents that?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, my whole life! And they just thought I was trying to get out of doing the dishes. And the truth is, I WAS! Before I existed, I didn't have to do no dishes.  I didn't have to eat, where dishes would be necessary. I miss my non-existence, it was my best friend. These are all psycho ideas, but you are getting the raw interview. I know that I have  a very minority point of view.  My question is, who is responsible enough to raise kids? Bottom line is, no matter how good a job you do as a parent, there is always the unknown factor. One of my favorite lines in the movies is when Keanu Reeves says in Parenthood, "You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car- hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

Hawaii411: What is in the future for Hawaiian Ryan?
Hawaiian Ryan: To deconstruct all ambition... all notions of trying to be somebody, trying to gain self worth. All those roads that try to lead, to build, make, augment, and change...forget all that.  to destroy hope.  Well, at least within me.  Everyone else can hope if they want.  As for me though, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness equals death, non-existence, and relief from all pursuits of any kind!

Hawaii411 Conclusion:  Interesting personality, Hawaiian Ryan... Not what we expected.  We thought we were going to meet a one dimensional comedian/DJ with the simple, preprogrammed canned responses ("Yes, our radio station strives to provide the highest quality programming to all of our listeners... blah blah blah")  Instead, we were taken on a tour inside the amped up, quad-dimensional mind of a well-read, educated individual with opinions, thoughts and viewpoints about any subject thrown his way.  Complicated to say the least, Hawaiian Ryan covered an extensive range of topics over sushi dinner.  He had some very valid points, but what scared me is that the longer we talked, the more sense he made.  Just kidding Hawaiian Ryan!  When you get right down to it, he's just a really nice guy who really knows how to make and hold a very interesting conversation.

His goal is to have no goals.  His ultimate dream would be not to exist.  But he does exist, and he is entertaining Hawaii audiences with 'catcha off guard' statements on his mid-day show on 104.3 Xtreme FM.
  And if you want to make sure that your wedding or birthday party or grad party or whatever is definitely not boring, get Hawaiian Ryan to be your host by either going to www.hawaiianryan.com or calling 275-1000.